I cannot stress enough the value of a cup of tea and a good friend. I can thank a friend named Sarah for teaching me this.
When I met Sarah, we could hardly have had less in common. I was a boy with strong convictions and a heavy attachment to propriety and politeness. She was a self-described "woman of doubt" who smoked and cursed. We met at a Starbucks with our mutual friend, Danny; and she quickly became one of my favourite people.
There are some people who are so ridiculously intelligent that you cannot prove them wrong even if they are. You could be standing under a sky as blue as any sky has ever been, and that person could prove to you definitively that the sky was actually chartreuse. There are some people who are so deeply poetic that their nonsense comments feel like a spiritual truth wrapped in a heartbreaking love story. You could be discussing the unrealistic explosions in an action film, and that person could utter an onomatopoeia that would stop your heart in its tracks. There are some people who are so practical and wise that their very presence lends your mind clarity. You could be in the throes of an existential crisis, and that person could provide for you the whole answer simply by the manner in which she sipped her tea. There are some people who cook for the heart and the tongue at the same time. There are some people who hug with their very souls. There are some people who see the very best in a person and call that very best out into the world. There are some people who are capable of healing wounds by the medicine of their very company.
And then there's Sarah, who puts those people to shame.
Sarah lived in a small apartment in the older part of town when we first started hanging out. It had shaggy carpet and a tiny kitchen that was always immaculate. When Danny and I stopped by, we'd usually slum on her couch while she gave us tea and shared her thoughts with us on whatever topic came up. Eventually, I started visiting her on my own when the occasion arose. We debated about a lot of things; she was always better at it, but never unkind or unfair. We also encouraged each other in a lot of things. She called me a unicorn once; and that was one of the nicest things anyone's said to me. No matter what we talked about, whether we were exchanging good news or stories of heartbreak, there was always a cup of tea in my hands. There was always a warm welcome when I arrived and a gentle nudge toward the door when she was ready to be an introvert again.
When she moved into a larger apartment, the ambiance of warmth and the scent of boiling water followed her. When I ran off to Uganda for a bit, the kind words and sympathetic ear chased me around on the internet. When I visited her at her home last October, I left with a long hug and a bag of pumpkin cookies.
So, why am I gushing on like this about my friend?
I can take a lesson from Sarah's ministry to me - because, really, that's what is has been. I can take a lesson in being a host. I can take a lesson from how safe I feel, and how blessed her friends are, when Sarah opens the door to her home. No matter where she's lived, the girl has made her abode into a home for whoever's in the room at the moment. I want that.
I want people who visit me to feel safe and cared for. I want my home to be refuge from the nonsense and heartache outside. What's more, I want it to be where people come for healing. I want to be an apothecary to the heart and soul. I want to bring peace, warmth, and a breath of fresh air to people who traverse a frantic, harsh, and toxic world. I want folks to come visit me and run smack into Jesus when they cross the threshold.
I've been working on it. I have a basket of teas, a knack for making some of the world's best hot cocoa, and progress on finding people to invite over.
But affection is hard for me to express aside from my words. I can say and write some lovely things; but only a few people can prompt me to offer a hug, never mind that I LOVE hugs. I'm also bad at initiating friendships. I usually let people who enjoy my presence come find me. Unfortunately, that means that some people I should be blessing aren't getting the things God means for me to give them.
And then there's that fact that I'm usually pretty terrible at baking.
In my heart, there's an image of two people at a table, steaming cups and heartfelt dialogue filling the space between them. That is my friendship with Sarah; it's been a large part of my friendship with Aaroneous (The best man I know, you may recall); and I want it to be a platform from which I show Jesus to people. In my heart, there's an image of a scared and lonely person sitting on a couch, wrapped in a blanket and clutching a steaming cup. That is how my closest friends have been to my heart; and it is what I want to provide for other lonely hearts. In my heart, there's an image of a sick man sitting at a table with a steaming cup while the owner of the house rummages through cupboards, concocting a home remedy. This is what I want to do with my life - heal and comfort and engage people who need a friend.
So, if you're in the neighborhood, stop by my place. Let's have a cup of tea.
-isaac
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